A friend is jealous: what to do? How to understand if your best friend is jealous: signs. Why do friends envy each other? Who is my best friend?

A true friend - who is she? There cannot be many true girlfriends, usually no more than three. The rest are just dots on the map: temporary acquaintances, easy-going friends, colleagues manipulating your feelings and bored schemers.

Cups of coffee in a cafe, chatting about nothing, borrowing a hundred rubles... This is the limit of traditional friendly relationships.

They won’t come to the other end of the city in the middle of the night to tow your car, they won’t invite their son to his name day, they won’t call all their friends looking for a job for you, and they won’t tactfully interfere with your business.

They glide along the surface without descending to the depths. Is it worth spending time on such acquaintances, which your true friends are so looking forward to?

Most often, real girlfriends appear at school and university. Later - at work and among neighbors - it is much more difficult to find common interests. And there’s a good chance that your colleague is simply manipulating you, and your neighbor is simply bored.

Even if years have separated you from your university friends, when you meet again, you will have something to remember.

True friends usually have a past together. They are the so-called “witnesses of life”: treasure troves of sentimental memories of your wild adventures.

How do you know if your friend is not real? By gestures, by facial expressions, by words. Even without being experts in lies, we know with a sixth sense when we are being lied to. Intuition will always tell you: “something is wrong” - you just have to listen to it.

So, if a friend’s smile is stretched right up to wisdom teeth, she is clearly hiding a lot.

If she covers herself with her hands during a conversation, turns her knees in the opposite direction, does not make eye contact and avoids serious topics - take a closer look, is she who you think she is?

Is your girlfriend real?

1. You remember her phone number by heart because you dialed it 10 years ago, when everyone had home phones. She is yours too (so much so that she bounces off your teeth).

2. You can just call her to chat - for no reason. Or you can ask for urgent help - immediately, right now.

3. She doesn't lie to you - neither for fun nor for serious reasons. Even for your own good, he doesn’t lie. You and she agreed long ago to be frank and decided that there is no happiness in ignorance.

4. Sometimes she honestly says what she thinks about your boyfriends, colleagues and bosses. Sometimes he keeps silent until they ask - he spares him. It is important that you are not mad at her for this.

5. She rarely breaks promises. And if it happens, then it does not look like indifference and irresponsibility. She treasures yours friendship.

6. She will never wash your bones behind your back. Even if she talks about you to someone else, it is always gentle and non-judgmental. And secret details never emerge in other people's circles.

7. You are not shy with each other. She trusts you with her secrets and problems and answers questions honestly. She has no need to hide. Without embarrassment, you can talk about intimate things, a visit to the doctor, and your salary.

8. With a real friend you periodically have tactile (bodily) contact. This is a true platonic feeling. You both tend to touch each other - hug, pat on the shoulder, straighten your hair, kiss on the cheek. Even just sitting next to each other, without trying to gain extra sentiments of space!

9. You are sentimental and consider her to be your loved one. Sometimes you even show excessive concern and try to control.

10. No matter how different your views on life may be, at a crucial moment she always takes your side. In family discord, the husband will be in the wrong; in work discord, the boss will be in the wrong. And everyone around will turn out to be monsters in her words of support, which you so need to hear.

11. She sees the line beyond which her jokes become offensive to you, and does not cross the line. She will never make you a laughing stock among her friends, even if a caustic joke comes to mind.

12. You have something that only you two understand: secrets, memories, jokes, phrases, nicknames, a secret language.

13. Sometimes an outsider cannot understand anything from your dialogue - it’s pure gobbledygook. And you understand each other “on the same note”: “Do you remember how?..” - “Yeah, exactly, and he’s like that...” - “That’s right!” And you told him...”

14. If you quarrel, make up immediately. You both can't stay mad at each other for long. And that's right, because a true friend is great value, which cannot be exchanged.

In our Everyday life we come across a lot of people every day. Ever wondered why sometimes chance meeting develops into a lifelong friendship, and a close friend sometimes becomes a complete stranger? Best friend should be in every woman's life. Who else if not her to trust with all the secrets, who to ask for advice in a difficult situation, and who to chat with over a cup of tea? What should a best friend be like? Where can I find it? Is it true that all women are rivals and there are no friends? All these questions will be answered today.

Where to find your best friend?

Often best friends appear in childhood. This could be a girl from your class or from the next door. It is much easier to find common interests in childhood. At first you play with dolls together, run to visit each other, then you become fans of the same group, go to discos, exchange fashionable clothes, try smoking, etc.

Everything is going better than ever, but many couples best girlfriends disintegrate during adolescence. Why is this happening? It's simple: first love. Girls often like the same boy. It’s stupid, but fleeting sympathy often destroys many years of sincere friendship. School friendships rarely develop into lifelong female friendships.

The most faithful and sincere is born at the age of 17-20 years. This is the time of studenthood, the beginning of adult independent life. You go to classes and clubs together, sharing all your joys and sorrows. You are no longer children and you know how to forgive each other.

But here you are 25, and you still don’t have a best friend. How could you miss it? Look around carefully, perhaps she has always been with you. If you miss female communication, go to fitness, dancing, courses foreign languages, yes anywhere. Look for a friend who will share your interests.

Essential qualities of a best friend

What qualities distinguish a best friend from just an acquaintance:

• The best friend is not afraid to tell the truth face to face. Sometimes the truth can be slightly offensive, but who, if not our best friend, will appreciate our shortcomings and pay attention to our miscalculations?
• A best friend will always listen. From time to time, a woman needs to speak out, complain about her husband, talk about painful things, etc. Your best friend is your therapist. She will always listen to everything from beginning to end and give practical advice. And sometimes you talk about a problem out loud, and you realize that it’s not a problem at all, but a mere trifle.
• A friend must be faithful. Well, how can you call a woman who seems to value you so much, but says all sorts of nasty things behind your back, or tries to steal your man, as your best friend?
• Your best friend will help you out in any situation. Sometimes life presents us with completely insoluble tasks or subjects us to serious tests. That's when the help of your best friend is simply necessary. But the main thing is not to abuse it. Friendship requires balance. Do not under any circumstances overload your friend with your depression and endless whining.

How to become a good friend

But to have a best friend, you need to strive to become one for another person. If you want to be a good friend, pay attention to the following points:

Friendship is a union of equals. Do not demand from your friend actions that you yourself are not capable of. Remember that the key to true friendship is mutual respect, a harmonious balance of communication and the ability to forgive.

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The one and only, one for life, the most dear and very significant in your life - your best friend. Everyone should have something like this, because it is this friendship that will be your support in difficult moments when no one else can help. Of course, everyone’s girlfriends are different: there are no two identical people in the world. But let's not forget that a best friend is a kind of honorary position, and the one who occupies it must meet a certain standard set by life itself! So what should she be like, what are the main qualities of a best friend? First of all, your best friend should be honest with you. Hypocrisy is not a quality we want to see in our friends.

The best friend is the best to always tell us the truth. And we are grateful to her for this, and if the truth is slightly offensive, well, there are no people in the world with an ideal life! And here we come to the next important quality: tact. Walking the fine line between tact and honesty is not easy.

But this is the responsibility of a best friend: to tell the truth in a way that does not offend you in any way. . Because she loves you and wants you to love her back. If you are an emotional person, and perhaps even a little childish, then it wouldn’t hurt for your best friend to be reasonable, reasonable and firmly on the ground.

Such a friend will keep you from doing a lot of stupid things and will be a kind of “shock absorber” for your irrepressible energy. Well, you share your irrepressible energy with her and breathe a little fairy tale into her life. All of these best friend qualities are very important, but they will fade if your friend doesn't listen.

Since it is to her that you will pour out your soul, be sure to take this point into account. A true best friend will always listen without interrupting, find the “rational grain” in your speech and give practical advice, and not just sympathetically nod her head. It is also important that you and your friend are on the same page.

After all, it’s not all time to sit in the kitchen and drink tea! You will go somewhere together, discuss your life, share your experiences. And the experiences of one of you should resonate in the other! This is the only way you can fully be called best friends, and you will be truly inseparable!

Of course, the best friend must be faithful! And this means - not to slander you behind your back, not to encroach on your men and not to refuse planned meetings with you for the sake of some sudden plans. She must understand that she is the most dear person to you, just as you are to her.

Your best friend should be your lifesaver and come to your aid if you need it. After all, life often sets us such tasks that cannot be solved alone, and then, just then, in the most difficult moment, the very essence of the best friend manifests itself.

And if this person did not leave you, helped and pulled you out of a seemingly hopeless situation, then she is the one, protect and appreciate her! Of course, it is difficult to fulfill all the points on this list, but nothing worthwhile, including friendship, is achieved without difficulty. After reading this, try to apply the resulting image to your friend.

Does it match? Does she have all the qualities of a best friend? If yes, then you are incredibly lucky. And if not, well, then attach the picture to yourself and look. What will happen. Maybe it's not about your friend, but about you? Because friendship is a union of equals. And everything written should apply to you to the same extent as to your friend.

Only together can you overcome all life's adversities and come out of any situation with a smile. Be a support and support for each other, always help each other, and then everyone who looks at you will certainly think: “Yes, here it is - true friendship is so rare these days!”

Even if there is a reliable one nearby loving man, every woman still needs a close friend. And despite the fact that the nature of a marital and friendly union is completely different, there is one similarity - you can build harmonious relationships only by putting your soul into them.

You need to be able to give in, trust and keep secrets, sincerely rejoice in the successes of loved ones and always lend a helping hand in difficult times. If you have such qualities, then you can become a real friend.

Bitter truth or sweet lie?

A friend is needed not only for shopping trips, gossiping and empty chatter. Value female friendship in the opportunity to hear the truth: about a new hairstyle, changed makeup, a fur coat that you like, or a new fan.

A true friend is not afraid to tell the truth in any matter. You may be upset by a categorical opinion from the outside, but at least it will be honest, and in some everyday situations it will save you from mistakes.

A true friend- this is the one who will always say her sincere opinion and will be able to grasp the fine line between your desire to hear a sweet lie or the bitter truth. There are different situations. For example, you accidentally found out about your friend’s husband’s infidelity. What to do: talk or not? Here you need to act intuitively.

On the one hand, the revealed betrayal, although it hurts your friend’s heart, will open up opportunities for her to save her family (after all, it’s much easier to “know the enemy by sight”) or save her pride (when there is no desire left to fight for the man) - again, everything is individual. In such a situation, any woman who values ​​friendship and sincerely empathizes with family relationships your girlfriend, it will not be easy to make a choice. So sometimes a sweet lie is very friendly.

In general, tell the truth when people want to hear it from you, asking for your opinion and asking for your advice. For example, don’t let your friend buy a dress that doesn’t fit her well or dye her hair a color that’s clearly not hers. If we're talking about It’s better to remain silent about revealing other people’s secrets. Otherwise, you risk losing your friend and ruining her personal happiness.

Tongue behind teeth

The ability to keep secrets and keep your word is another essential quality of true friends. Believe me, losing trust is easy, but earning it back is much more difficult. And a damaged reputation will leave an imprint on your relationship with your friend.

Relationships with men girlfriends - taboo

Flirting and any more than friendly relationships with a boyfriend, husband, or even a friend’s ex-husband are always taboo in true friendship. Any woman will regard this as a betrayal, and she will be right. So if you notice that your friend is not breathing evenly towards your man, you can safely say goodbye to her. Well, don’t allow yourself such arrogance and meanness.

And in sorrow and in joy

And even though you hear such words only in the registry office, they also apply to friendship. You need to be able to not only empathize with your friend in difficult moments, but also sincerely rejoice at her happiness, even when there is a dark streak in your life. And it’s not for nothing that they say that friends are known not in grief, but in joy. In general, envy has no place in friendship.

Understand, life is like a carousel. Today your friend flies upward, tomorrow you will. And instead of secretly envying her, rejoice at her successes and support her during her flight down. She, in turn, will reciprocate your feelings. Life is much easier this way.

And also, don’t be afraid to be intrusive in offering help. Perhaps your friend really needs it, but she doesn’t dare ask. If you know that you can really help, be persistent and do not remain indifferent. And if you cannot significantly influence the situation, support with words and practical advice.

What else should a true girlfriend do (or not do)?

In addition to the main qualities, there are various little things that affect the strength and sincerity of friendship. So, a real friend should:

Respect your friend's personal space, do not be jealous of other friends.

Do not overload with your problems, so as not to tire them with eternal whining.

Do not criticize behind your eyes and do not discuss your girlfriend with third parties.

Be interested in your friend’s life events, sorrows and achievements.

Trust your secrets, and not just ask other people's secrets.

Don’t make scandals over trifles, treat each other with understanding.

Female friendship was, is and will be. It may be rare in crystal form, but it still exists. The main thing is to build it mutually, reciprocating your friend’s feelings.

You cannot only “take” from friendship; you must certainly “give” in return. Don’t choose your girlfriends based on the principle of “being on top compared to them.” Look for a friend with interests and outlook on life similar to yours. Be ready to share your friend's troubles and double her joy, give sincere advice and help find a way out of any situation.