Intimate stories of people. Intimate stories accompanied by the sound of wheels. Another funny but vulgar story from the life of an ordinary person

New fairy tale about Pinocchio.

Italiano Pepperoni - very tasty pasta!
Eat olives, eat pasta, with hot Tabasco sauce!
So the fairy tale began, about a boy with a long nose. The one who turned from a log into an oligarch.

Once upon a time there was an old organ grinder... He didn’t make anything at all... Only an old organ grinder, collecting dust in his corner.
A man lived in a closet, a kennel a little larger, the only amenities were a toilet, and even that was two hundred meters away.
There was only one friend - Giuseppe, he worked as a carpenter, usually a couple of times a month - the rest of the time he fermented.
And the organ grinder gathered here to visit his friend. Before that, he came in for a bottle of strong Grappa.
"Hello "Blue Nose" Giuseppe!" (it was a rush), “What new thing have you cooked up? Or are you just drinking again?” -
“I haven’t done anything in a week, my friend Carlo. I just found an old log in the trash heap. I’ve got hemorrhoids, so it hurts even to fart! And I’m just sitting here drinking - this is such entertainment!”
“It’s okay my friend, Giuseppe, what can we do - it’s old age... We’ll drink a glass and we’ll immediately feel better.”
Suddenly the bottle was empty... Everything about everything - about fifteen minutes... These two sick Old Farts, but they drink like students...
As usual, after drinking, they needed to fight, what kind of drinking is there without a fight? When are two best friends?!!!
A hook to the jaw, from the shoulder - this is an old organ grinder hitting... Here with a log, a roundhouse hit on the forehead - already Giuseppe!
Having had a lot of fun, everyone was satisfied - “You know what, take a log! It might still come in handy.”
Taking the log under Carlo’s armpit, he was about to go home, but the log turned around and poked him in the eye out of anger!
It's good that he missed - he could have been left without an eye! “What the fuck did you give me today?
Or do you want to do it all over again, get screwed again?!" - "What are you doing, Carlo! As possible! It looks like it’s just a log!!!”
“Hey, idiots! Stop fermenting! - that log told them - It's better to do I'd like to get involved to make money!"
Looking at each other, Carlo was the first to say the word - “You know what, my friend Giuseppe - we need to put an end to the drinking.”
And without saying a word, he silently tramped home, thinking along the way: “What is this strange log?”
Out of grief, having made five hundred grams of Grappa from the bottling, he came home at night, hiccupping deafeningly.
Early in the morning he woke up, “Hey idiot, stop sleeping!” - This is a strange log, it has a clear voice.
"Stop sleeping - take the plane! Let's make Pinocchio!" Farting loudly, old Carlo fell out of bed.
“You probably can’t drink anymore - So “Squirrel” comes...” “What a lie, old fool! Quickly picked up your ass from the floor!”
Having sobered up at that moment, he decided to ask the question: “What is this wonderful little animal that is blowing my mind right now?”
“I’m an ordinary young boy, just a little bewitched, an evil witch-drug addict... I’ve turned into a log... But it’s possible to save me - you just need to take a plane! But the only “Hat” - I’ll remain wooden!”
Old Carlo took the plane, assessing with a dull look that it would be better to put the log in the firebox - at least it would be warm.
At that second, having unraveled the Old Fart’s bad thoughts, the log, and with a running start, struck a blow to the balls!
And the organ grinder, having seen all the stars in the sky, lay down on the floor in the middle of the closet with a quiet cry...
“So what?” the log said, “Shall we repeat it one more time? Or maybe we’ll do a miraculous transformation?”
“No, thank you...” said Carlo. “I feel much better already! Very quickly and clearly, you explain the essence to me...”
Taking the plane firmly in his hands, he began to plan the log... A wonderful miracle happened! - Pinocchio appeared!
With a long nose, like a heron’s, so that you can eat candy, he clapped his eyes and said - “Beloved dad!”
Old Carlo shed tears - he had dreamed of being a dad all his life! It’s just a pity that by nature, he was congenital impotent...
So the boy appeared in the life of an old scoundrel who had been turning a barrel organ all his life and had never worked...
The two men began to live together, Papa Carlo became happy! Every evening Buratino brought a glass of Grappa.
And one day Carlo said, “You need to learn to read and write, otherwise, Pinocchio, you will remain a piece of wood.”
And in the morning, the old bastard went to a flea market to get hold of books for the Boy from Aspen...
Papa Carlo sold the jacket... “God be with her, with this old jacket, but now I can make Pinocchio smart!”
With this joyful thought, he got ready to go home, not forgetting to drink Grappa from the tavern along the way.
“Hello wooden boy! My beloved Pinocchio! I brought a book as a gift so that you can become an oligarch!
""All about raider takeovers"" - this is a gift for you, maybe you will become great, like Uncle Karabase!..."
“Oh thank you, dear dad! How happy I will be now!” and hugging the old fart Carlo, he quietly farted.
“Tomorrow you’re going to school! Stop fooling around at home! Go to bed and tomorrow morning, I’ll sew some clothes for you!”
I glued a jacket together from paper, made a cap from a sock... "Very creative and almost modern..."
Early in the morning, Pinocchio came out of Papa Carlo's closet, He went out to the seashore and fell into worldly life...
The path was, of course, to school (initially it was supposed to be), but for some reason, on the way, I met a stray booth.
Performances were given there (and not only for children)... Music played loudly, moans of passion were heard!
“What a miracle this institution is!” the boy thought to himself, “There is a school, there has been and there will be, but this is the first time!”
There's Malvina on the poster, openly wearing a blue thong, inviting all the boys, and not just to laugh...
Having quickly exchanged the book for a ticket to the "Valley of Passion", Buratina plunged into the world of sin and pleasure...
Three prostitutes began to “take in” the boy at once, and he came without holding back - eight times in three minutes!
And as a reward for bliss, that which returns to life, Buratina famously did
they have magical cunnilingus!
Those prostitutes were shocked - Pinocchio is simply a Guru! If only he wants, everything will be given to him for free!
Wooden, overwhelmed by such magical miracles, sadly thought, “Why haven’t I met this circus before!...”
Then a man with evil eyes enters the arena, That is the owner of porn studios, the bearded Karabase!
Announces a super competition “Whoever cracks a nut will receive three hundred Euros! For an attempt - only a hundred!”
Pinocchio, inspired, decided to try his luck, Strike! The nut is cracked! His dick is just like new!
Because Papa Carlo did everything in his life conscientiously! He even whittled the boy’s pussy with a knife for two days!
Karabase is simply shocked! “I got three hundred Euros! We need to lure this boy to the circus as soon as possible...”
Immediately after the performance, he called him over and offered him a job - to be an actor in porn studios.
“No problem!” said the boy, “There are only a couple of conditions - we’ll take Papa Carlo from the damn stinking Closet...”
Karabas, having heard about this, put his fist in his mouth and, having given a thousand Euros, sent the boy home...
And saying goodbye - “Let him extend the lease for another forty years, I’ll buy his closet!”
Pinocchio was surprised (despite the fact that there was sawdust in his brain) “What the hell does Uncle Karabas need that stinking hut?
Apparently the matter here is not pure, there is most likely a secret..." Having skipped home, he returned the book to the Lombard.
On the way, getting hungry, he decided to eat at a tavern. Two people sat down with him there - a tattered cat with a stinking fox...
Seeing that there was money in Buratina’s wallet, the Cat said that he was an investor in the field of nanotechnology!
They say that he knows the place - there is one secret training ground, it is only possible there overnight to get
Three hundred percent!
Pinocchio, opening his mouth, ordered the cat to quickly show that magical clearing where the miracle will be!
Having drunk more Chianti, the wooden blockhead, the Three left the tavern, with the thought of making quick money...
And having decided to speed things up (not to bother with the garbage dump), Pinocchio was given a terrible dose of Clonidine.
It’s a gift that it’s wooden - he stuck the Euro in his mouth - It just didn’t work out that way, to get hold of the investment!
And having hung Pinocchio on a birch tree, brains down, the Scoundrels went to bed to continue again in the morning.
At the same time, Malvina went for a walk in the dense forest, and saw the boy hanging with his ears to the ground.
Immediately calling Artemon (she was walking with him alone) - They took the boy down from the tree - he was pretty shabby...
The eye is blackened, and the jacket is in tatters... - the cat tried his best, But the prankster is wooden - he doesn’t give up so easily!
Having laid him on the ground, Malvina immediately revived the Wooden boy with a miraculous blow job!
And having fallen in love with Pinocchio (or rather, his little birdie) - “Let’s live together and act in porn films!”
And the depraved Malvina, after these proposals, Fucked very passionately the wooden hero.
“Well, no!” said the boy, “Big things await me... I need to solve the mystery of what’s in Papa Carlo’s closet!”
And having come to his senses a little, he went home, limping... “What’s in our old closet that Karabas needs so much?...”
He came home in the morning, his eye was blackened and he was limping, “What happened to you, son?” - Carlo screamed in grief!
And the boy, having told him everything that happened to him yesterday, even then himself did not understand what kind of secret was revealed to them...
Carlo remembered about the Tortila that he saved from Duremar, and the story about the key that unlocked the door!
The puzzle came together overnight! "Fuck, son, we're rich!" - the old organ grinder shouted, and peed himself with happiness.
“It’s just a matter of small things, you need to take the magic key!” - The one that old Tortila kept in the depths of the pond.
“Don’t worry, Papa Carlo! There will be our magic key. Now I know exactly what is important for women in life!”
Despite it being very early, having quickly drunk a cup of coffee, Wooden with a quick step, retired into the thicket of the forest...

Pinocchio went out to the pond, he began to call the turtle... Tortila suddenly appeared from the stinking swamp...
With a sad, clouded look, from a drinking binge after schnapps, the turtle looked at young Pinocchio...
“Come on, scarecrow in a case, bring me the key from the bottom! And let’s be quick, they’re waiting for me at the party!”
The turtle went crazy from Pinocchio's requests... "Shouldn't I fart in your ear? You fucking rotten thing..."
And burping with fumes, saying in a squeaky voice - “I’m ready to give the key, just for Duremar’s eggs...”
“Okay,” said the boy, poking his wooden nose at the piles of dung and cows that were lying everywhere...
“I’ll bring you Koki, from the Hirudotherapist... Because damn, I want to touch the Key...”
The cunning boy Buratini ran and skipped, resounding with the sound of his wooden pussy knocking all over the area.
And Tortila, sinking into the depths of the swamp mud, sadly sank into the thought that she was often tormented...
- Here is a boy, very young, he catches leeches with a net... He takes them to the pharmacy to earn money.
And that boy, the prankster, looks at the girls’ butts, his eye glued to the hole that was in the wall of the toilet.
After these exercises, he masturbated often, in the reeds of the swamp thicket, so that everything would remain a secret...
But one day he came across a turtle shell - it was a drunken Tortila, she was in a coma.
I pulled my head in tightly, seventeen centimeters, so that the hole looked like a vagina, damn it.
"That's the thing!" The young boy Duremare was surprised - “We need to test that hole, maybe it will be even better!”
Inspired by this thought, he mastered this business! So drunk Tortila went crazy instantly!
Having sobered up with too much drinking, almost choking on sperm, biting a boy on the penis - the turtle got a bonus!
A young boy, Duremare was crazy with orgasm, at that second he screamed - “Wow, this gadget!”
So the boy made friends with a miraculous device and hid it in a pond, tying it to a stick with twine...
The young boy Duremare enjoyed himself every day, everything was almost perfect! Not for a turtle...
The turtle, having quickly given up alcoholism, took spermicine masks daily.
This did her good - she began to look younger. Without lying, let's be honest - about forty years!
But one day Papa Carlo was going to fish, and the old bastard came to the pond, believing that he could...
“We need to make a fishing rod... This stick will do!” And the turtle begged - “Anything but sex!”
Papa Carlo was surprised, what is the use of this shell? And I heard a story about the magical Golden Key!
Having seized one moment (Papa Carlo got distracted here) - A turtle fell into the pond, like a torpedo on a marine fleet!
Papa Carlo was overwhelmed by the magical story. He trudged home with sadness, having already forgotten about the fish.
This is the reason for the terrible Turtle’s anger towards the boy from the orphanage who caught leeches with a net.
But let’s return to our fairy tale - it will be interesting further, because Pinocchio is so simple, he doesn’t give up!

Pinocchio, pretending to be a knotty piece of wood, quietly hid in the toilet - waiting for the Hirudotherapist!
And after waiting for Duremar, he took out a penknife - “Nothing, this will do,” Buratino thought at once.
“Very rusty, but usable and also very sharp! – because Papa Carlo is the best dad in the world!”
Duremar sat down to poop, over the asshole, of the “Hole” system And instantly and silently - The eggs became Pinocchio!!!
Duremar, uttering a very loud and terrible scream, quickly fell into the hole and disappeared forever in poop!
Pinocchio, with a light heart, anticipating his wealth, ran back to the pond to see the turtle.

"Hello Grandma Tortila! I brought you eggs! Not from the chicken and chicken, but from Uncle Duremar!
Never again, he's in the pond catching leeches! Hurry up and get me a key made of gold!”
The turtle shed tears, for how many years he had been tormented by the thirst for revenge on the turtle, the pervert Duremar!
“Okay,” she said, “You, I see, are a nice boy! How many times have you already tried, terrible Uncle Karabase -
Duremara kept watch for eight years in a stinking toilet, But he didn’t achieve success - his beard was just covered in shit!”
“And from here in more detail, tell me Tortila, What happens - Karabase has been looking for the key here for eight years?”
“Yes, wooden boy, Karabase is just crazy! He said that this key is the key to untold wealth...”
“Everything is clear - he thought - The key, the closet, everything worked out...” - “Here, quickly take the key! Nice boy Pinocchio!”

Here they are standing in the closet, Papa Carlo with Buratina, and the fireplace with the cauldron in front of them is painted on canvas...
Pinocchio, with a long nose, he’s like a bunch of dung, He quickly pierces the canvas, and under it is a piece of iron!
Having torn off the canvas, they saw the door to the secret safe, Which was secretly walled up in this old closet.
“Papa Carlo, we are rich!” Buratino shouted loudly, “And the brute Karabase will sniff the little beard!”
The key in the keyhole, quietly clicking, turned, A secret was revealed to their gaze - that it was the greatest!
In the safe there was a controlling interest in the shares of the old theater, which in great Italy was built a long time ago!
And to boot, diamonds, four hundred grams, no less, of the most fabulous cut and colors of magical beauty...

The knock was very loud... “Open up, you bastards!” - the owner of the porn studios was breaking the door, trying to open it.
This is a drunken Tortila, Karabasu spilled the beans, they say the key has already been received by a cheerful guy - Pinocchio!
Because he managed to bring justice to Duremar, for his desecrated youth, and for S&M sex...
“That’s it... - thought Karabase - La Scala will no longer be seen - After all, control over that theater was seized by Buratina!”
Meanwhile, hastily, Papa Carlo and Pinocchio went down the rope, outside the window that hung...
And they ran towards the forest, their friends were there ready to give the evil Uncle Karabas a big kick!
Harlequin held a slingshot, he wielded it delicately - Out of a dozen rotten eggs, twelve hit the target!
And Piero - he was a noble poet, he composed poems excellently, he knew how to crumble with obscenities - it was very offensive to everyone!
As for Malvina, she was good at sex, but having fallen in love with Pinocchio, she immediately gave up porn...
Artemon (he was a dog) He was on Karabas’s ass, He tore his trousers into shreds, so that his balls were visible!
Karabas lies defeated, in a muddy puddle near the forest, without pants and no money, Pinocchio got it all!
Because Buratina bungled the additional share issue, and Karabas only had two sticks left in his hands!
And Malvina and Pinocchio gave birth to children - wooden men with noses like herons.

Musicians from all over the world are carrying suitcases of money for Papa Carlo and Pinocchio to sing in the wonderful theater!
Oh, I forgot about Papa Carlo - he’s in the theater with “Blue Nose” - they announce performances, and then they ferment together!
This is how the fairy tale turned out! About the log and more! It is very important that in life everyone finds the same key!

Not far from us there is a French supermarket “Cora” (Cora, emphasis on the last syllable).
We occasionally (no more than 3-4 times a year) go there for the freshest (no fools) seafood in an assortment, which you won’t find in KaDeWe, and excellent pastries.
Well, you know - these long loaves are called baguette.
Besides baguettes, there are a lot of tasty things and not that expensive. In general, a celebration of the belly.
My wife hung out at the fish store, but I moved to the bakery and pastry shop. And there is a queue. Small but impressive - 10 - 12 people. They are waiting for the notorious baguettes. They are being taken out several at a time - straight from the oven, and now there is a production pause.
The Western European queue is not similar to the Soviet one: no one is puffing at the back of anyone’s head, everyone is standing intelligently, maintaining a private distance.
In the queue, French an masse, four figures clearly stood out - two Russians (Rousseau tourist as a type is recognizable everywhere) and two invaders of the “sons of the desert” in characteristic attire - nightgowns to the toes, towels on their heads and beards with shovels.
Loudly, without being embarrassed by the damned kafirs, they discuss in their poetic dialect God knows what. By the way, the handsome guys are standing, it’s also interesting - separately from the queue, so as not to accidentally offend yourself.
And here are the baguettes - exactly 12 pieces! Each is packaged in a narrow paper sleeve (for hygienic reasons). In theory, it should be enough for half the queue (some take 2, some take 3).
But it was not there. “Sons of the Deserts”, continuing their lengthy - no less than theological - debate, with regal spontaneity, load all 12 baguettes into their cart and, smiling tenderly at each other, majestically set off towards the cash registers.
As you know, the Russian character immediately gets into trouble with any injustice.
- No fucking way. What the f*ck is this?! - the first Russian is amazed quite loudly.
“Oh, damn, finally,” the second agrees.
The French, with their mouths agape, are watching the unfolding performance: both Russians (I don’t know who they are, they look like oil workers on vacation, and how did they end up in this ordinary French town?!), interrupting the meaningful dialogue, rushing across the sweet couple.
The “Sons of the Desert” slow down and look at the Russians in bewilderment.
Silently and with stern frowns, the Russians take 10 baguettes from the enemy cart (they leave 2 - fairness, know ours!) and... return to the line!
You should have seen, my sirs and madams, the faces of these bearded men. Darkness and fog - “Hell and Israel!” They weren’t just scared - although the Russians didn’t lay a finger on them - they were naturally deflated.
It's a pity that it was not possible to capture this picture.
Having dumped the baguettes back into the tray, the Russians, once again exchanging glances and shrugging their shoulders, take themselves 1 (adyn) pieces and head to the cash registers.
And then the French begin to applaud and whistle. Joyful exclamations, interjections - continuous vive la Russie.
I believe these French learned the hard way how different one occupation can be from another.
Maybe they'll tell the others?

While relaxing at sea, you can best observe all the diversity, originality and diversity of women's butts. Let’s immediately discard the immature butts of girls of pre-Juliet age, and the respected butts of gray-haired ladies. The rest easily fit into the following classification.

Type one - ASS - ASS (affectionately admiring - ass)
Such a butt is always well developed and has the convex shape of double soccer balls, united by the elastic of the trunks into a single aesthetic masterpiece. The ass always has a good connection with the front and often enjoys its joys.
Any color is possible - from freckled German pallor to chocolate-Brazilian luxury.
The ass invariably attracts the attention of the opposite sex and, due to its own self-sufficiency, can lead a life separate from its owner. Regardless of the appearance and mood of its owner, such a butt is always playful, cheerful and ready for contacts. When walking, it sways invitingly, but not with a sluggish cellulite wave, but with an energetic, elastic, alluring tremor. Even women turn to look at such specimens, sighing enviously, and men are simply overwhelmed with the desire to pinch and squeeze this marvelous creation of Mother Nature.
The owners of such popes are almost always happily married; as a girl, they often have several lovers, which does not prevent them from becoming ideal wives and mothers over time. They are indifferent to their career, but if fate forces them, then their path to success is rapid and they are able to achieve dizzying growth, sweeping away everyone and everything in their path.
This ass gives its owner a long, have a fun life, delighting her with his youthful forms until the last hour.

The second type of pop is FLAT BUTT.
In fact, it’s not a butt, but a part of the back that suddenly, without warning, split into two rickety limbs. As a rule, such butts are represented by very dystrophic individuals, but there is also a wide variety of flat butts, which, however, does not in any way correct the dullness of this type.
No matter how intricate the design idea, panties on a flat butt always have a bandaged appearance and are not able to decorate the mummified hip joint of the owner. Not finding a single roundness, panties on such butts helplessly cling to the sharp bones of a barely formed pelvis and wrinkle when walking, sluggishly sliding for skinny thighs.
The color range of pop flats is poor and has only two shades - a frightening blue pallor or the unhealthy poopy color of burnt cutlets.
The only decoration of these pops can be either powerful pearlescent pimples in the case of a pale color or crackle of fine wrinkles in the brown version.
Owners of such butts are prone to female hysterics, rarely laugh, and almost never swim in the sea. Despite their unhealthy thinness, they lead exclusively healthy image life and are most often found in feeding areas, where for a long time and sluggishly they crush a leaf of lettuce with their anemic lips, which their flat butts disgustingly spit out into the whiteness of the toilet a couple of hours later.
Retaining teenage underdevelopment throughout their lives, such priests are often proud of themselves and sometimes arouse the envy of their plump competitors, which is completely in vain, because men's views bounce off flat pops faster than a tennis ball when hitting a racket.
Such butts extremely rarely can boast of a successful marriage; they often have a married lover with whom they carry on a long-term affair that is exhausting for both.
But such butts climb the career ladder very energetically, acquiring even greater angularity in managerial chairs. If nature, in addition to such an underdeveloped ass, gave two crooked endless legs with forty-three shoe sizes, then they have a chance to break through to the podium and join the crowd of fantastically paid skeletal models.

Type three – BUTT, LOOSE, BUTT.
The most undesirable option female butt, an extremely unfortunate form of natural selection. Intended exclusively for the act of defecation (not to be confused with defloration).
Having no aesthetic value, it is given to the owner to add to the extra pounds she already has. The only possible color is baby pink.
A large population of loose butts is typical of the Russian hinterland and, although due to their natural tendency to self-sacrifice, they are capable of decorating the life of any man, they are almost never appreciated by them.
A loose butt is never in demand among the opposite sex. The owner of such a butt is extremely rarely successful in marriage, although marriage itself is quite possible. But, following the path of intellectual and spiritual development, the owner of such a butt can reach such significant heights that the very topic of this story will simply fall out of the sphere of her natural interests.

Type four – ORDINARY, HEALTHY BUTT.
The most common type of pop. In the complete absence of shyness, such butts often only indicate panties with a tango thread, a seagull of a back flying over the horizon. Often it is they who decorate themselves with a variety of tattoos, from a lace checkmark fluttering over cute bulges to touching butterflies and roses, or an angry panther insidiously crawling out from behind the scenes of a bikini. Tattoos on such butts can tell much more about the owner than herself.
These butts are loved, kissed, and poems and songs are even dedicated to the scars and moles on them.
Ordinary butts are so varied in shape and color scheme, that I will only emphasize their main advantage - their tendency towards nepotism. No matter how much they fool around in their youth, old age always meets them in the circle of numerous and loving relatives. Such priests do not tolerate loneliness and by the age of twenty they are often accompanied by men's family underpants and a couple of diapers. As an option, they can choose a partner for a long time, exchanging the best one for an even more worthy one.
They are easy to communicate, easily domesticated, or can easily take the path of career growth, depending on the ambitions and desires of their partner. - And what do you suggest? Going to work with that kind of exhaust? They'll get fired sooner! Or maybe let's say that today is a great holiday and we started preparing for it yesterday?
- What kind of holiday is this in the middle of the work week? There are no such holidays! And today is a stupid date - March 8th!
- Personally, I like the number. In addition, the figure eight, like a woman, has a waist in the middle.
- A couple more of these pulls - with beer, schnapps and sausages, and our waistlines cried!
They were silent for a while, and Clara asked hopefully:
- Rose! Girlfriend! Why don't you go to the store for a beer? Disappear, so with the music!
At this time, the noise of an approaching carriage was heard from the street. Clara walked to the window and looked out into the street:
- Wow! Nakarkala! Karl and Friedrich showed up! Total ambush!
Both, without saying a word, rushed to the mirror, and commanding steps were already heard on the stairs. There was a knock on the door once, twice, and Rose went to open it.
- Great, girls! – the men who entered greeted in one voice.
- Why isn’t this at work?
- Yes, that’s what we were going to do. I really wanted to look better today, because of the holiday! – Rose began to wriggle out.
- What kind of holiday?
- How? You do not know? Today is Women's Day!
- How is it in the bathhouse? – Friedrich was surprised.
- International! - Clara blurted out to give significance to the imaginary holiday.
- Both on! – Karl exclaimed, slapping his knees. - And today is my holiday! They are going to publish my book! The publisher was very complimentary and said it was a great book! And the advance payment was paid - be healthy! So in connection with this, and in honor women's holiday, I’m raising your salary by five marks!
-Hooray!!! – Rose and Clara shouted in unison.
Suddenly Friedrich asked:
-Girls, what does that smell in your room?
-A-ah-ah.... And we removed the varnish and poured acetone - Rose was found.
- Acetone?
- Well, yes! And realizing that the smell did not quite match, she clarified:
- Clara, dammit, I spilled acetone on the stewed cabbage...
- Well, if it’s cabbage, then yes.
“Listen, Friedrich,” Karl ordered. “Here’s the money for you - go to the tavern for beer!” Take some more sausages and...
- Schnapps! – Rose quietly exhaled.
- And schnapps! Let's go for a walk today! Yes, take more so you don’t have to run twice. And here’s another thing,” Karl took Friedrich to the door:
- Buy a flower there, or something.
- What flowers are there on March 8th? Winter is just around the corner. The heating season is not over yet.
- Well, then some kind of plush bullshit, but not expensive.

When Karl and Friedrich approached the inn to improve their health, Friedrich smiled:
- Well done girls! After all, the ninth of March is also a holiday!
In just two days we’ll be covered with stubble... And the barber tears so much - there won’t be any left for beer! Let's grow beards, shall we?

We go shopping, my daughter lists all her purchases:
- We bought sausage, we bought banyams, we bought milk. I needed to change money, Yulia carefully watched as I gave the saleswoman money and she also gave me only money, without goods. Concludes:
- We bought money!

We are going on the subway, a huge man is standing next to Nikita and talking to Nikita, during the conversation Nikita has a reasonable question: Who are you?
- I? An adult uncle.
“No-no,” Nikita objected, “you’re a little homosexual.” It must be said that right before leaving, the child was read a book about Someone There and the Seven Dwarfs.

Here you can enjoy not only the exciting scary story 18+ without censorship and hidden meaning, but also to feel the emotional outbursts of the main characters, their experiences, fears and desires. Feel with them the whole palette of emotions, because everything that is written here happened in reality in real life. Allow yourself to relax and enjoy the juicy story sent to us by our readers. This is not vulgar fun, there is no script or feigned emotions, only life and only trash. Life itself shows us various aspects of the presentation of mysticism.

If you are in this section, then you already know exactly how your night will go. The hottest and most frank are waiting for you horror stories for adults. Each of us has different stories happening in our lives, bad, good, funny and scary. We've collected everything horror stories 18 plus which you can now read at night.

The husband comes home from work and hears his wife’s moans coming from the bedroom, walking towards the room he saw a terrible picture.... This is exactly how your story or your neighbor’s could begin, do not forget to send us your stories from adult life.

The supplier’s voice, cutting into the ear and preventing concentration, broke the silence again. Fingers tapped on the computer keyboard:

Something strange is happening to me today. I do not feel anything. I smile, trying to hide the inner emptiness, trying to remember those states in which I felt good, or at least bad: it doesn’t matter anymore. I want sensations, feelings, passions: and nothing. Horror sets in. Lord, at least something! What if again? Once I spent several months in this state of emptiness and timelessness. Scary. I'm trying to analyze. Maybe I thought too much about how to behave correctly and how not to behave correctly. Maybe for some reason the ghost of gray, lean loneliness has stopped pressing on me. Where are you soul, if you exist, you should feel something! Quiet and empty:

This happened 10 years ago. I was 17 years old and my mother was 41 years old. She and her father were still together. We decided to go to the seaside in the summer, just at that moment my mother at work got a trip to the seaside. To the south, to a forgotten village by the sea, on the very southwestern coast of Crimea. We traveled by bus, it was long and tedious. Well, they finally arrived, settled down, and packed all the things on the bedside tables in the room. The room was in the house, and the house itself consisted of 2 such rooms. There were already some neighbors near us, and with a quick greeting we headed out to the sea.

Hello my dear friend. My name is Sonya and this is my story)
My parents divorced when I was 18 years old. It was a difficult time for all of us, because litigation lasted more than a year and I had to live with my mom and dad in turns. Dad stayed in London, and mom returned to grandma in St. Petersburg. To be honest, I liked living with my dad more, because he was the founder of a large construction consulting company and I didn’t need money. For my sixteenth birthday, it was decided to throw a chic party in our apartment, since it was two-story and we could have fun without interfering with my dad’s work. Dad even allowed me to invite my boyfriend Joseph. At that time, I had already lived in London for almost four years and had been dating Joe for a year. I really liked him, but we didn’t go beyond kissing in the smoking room at school. Although, no, once, he crawled out of my crack, but more on that later. So, the day of the party was approaching and I was running around like crazy to get everything ready. I invited a DJ, bought a short Gucci dress and asked the housekeeper to stock up on alcohol in the hope that dad wouldn’t come down and control the fun. I also hoped that Joe and I would finally have sex and bought stockings, a girdle and fishnet underwear.

I knew Sergei for a long time, but only recently our relationship with him moved to a different status. He recently came to visit me, and I live in the village when my parents were not at home. I was very happy. Because he and I were very good friends. Neither he nor I had thought about each other until that day, until that day on a different level. He arrived almost at lunchtime, I invited him to eat with me, and then we went to my room, to the computer. He asked if I had a new adult video. I took out the disc and we got comfortable and settled in to watch. After some time, I noticed how his penis stood up under his jeans. I wondered how long it was, and I asked him, do you masturbate? He was embarrassed and blushed, but answered yes, and immediately asked me the same thing. I thought for a bit. I invited him to masturbate together. He made big eyes, but after hesitating a little, he still agreed. We undressed. Once again I involuntarily admired his beautiful, muscular body. When he took off his panties, I couldn’t take my eyes off his dick. He was great. Long, thick: I felt my penis overflowing with blood.