Unequal marriage: when the woman is older. Age difference between man and woman
True love knows no boundaries or obstacles. A flap of Cupid's wings, arrows in two hearts, and the deed is done - a man and a woman are in love. But let's put aside romantic ideas about love and look at the essence of the issue from the point of view of dry statistics. Passion, love, fire in the eyes and languid sighs - all this passes over time. And there are quite “mundane” factors that influence the strength of a relationship - for example, the age difference between partners. Let's talk to experts about whether there is an ideal age interval that guarantees a strong, harmonious relationship between a man and a woman.
In most families, the man is 3 years older than the woman. This trend is observed in all countries of the world. And this is easy to explain - subconsciously a person is looking for his “equal” and social status, and on intellectual development. And here age plays a big role - life experience is gained, wisdom comes, and the worldview changes.
With each subsequent marriage, a man looks for a younger wife. “Grey hair is a devil in the rib” - the saying clearly works. With age, the desire to see a “fresher” woman next to you appears.
But believe me, those unions where one of the partners is much older or younger than his chosen one are not uncommon today. What will you think about if you see such a couple - an over-aged man and a young girl? Of course, the first thing that comes to mind is that an “unequal” marriage has no prospects, because it is built only on mercantile interests. And the statistics are inexorable - unions where the age difference is too great break up much more often than those where the age of the spouses is not so noticeable. But love is love - there are pleasant exceptions!
Ideal formula: is there an optimal age difference?
Psychologists believe that the optimal age difference between a man and a woman to create a strong family is 5-6 years. At the same time, the situation when the spouse is older is considered a “classic” marriage.
A difference of 5-6 years is ideal in terms of the psycho-emotional development of spouses. It turns out that he and she are on the same level - both have already gained life experience, have relationships behind them, their decision to start a family has been well thought out, and they have the financial resources. All this is at least some kind of guarantee of a long-term relationship. Sociological research show that such couples have more children.
Chinese sages developed their formula for an acceptable age difference between spouses. We take a calculator in our hands. The ideal bride is selected according to the following mathematical calculations - the man’s age is divided by 2, and 7 is added to the result. For example, if a man is 30 years old, then his chosen one should be 22 years old. Please note that with such calculations it turns out that the older the man, the younger his “ideal” woman. East is a delicate matter.
Marriages between peers are a classic during the USSR. No wonder - in those years it was considered “correct” for everyone to be equal, and the slightest deviations from the “norms” caused criticism among others. The outstanding difference between a man and a woman was not welcomed - neither in personal nor in social life. That is why the age of the spouses was approximately the same - this was customary.
Marriages between peers are usually early marriages. More often, young people meet each other in high school or college, and then decide to start a family. “Equal” unions have a lot of advantages: common interests and friends, similar lifestyle and life values. It turns out that he and she are carrying luggage on an equal footing and at the same speed. family life.
But spouses of the same age cannot do without problems - they can quickly get tired of each other. If the marriage is early, problems will certainly arise due to lack of finances. The couple does not have a more experienced partner who is ready to extinguish the storms in the relationship - and this threatens with rash actions, squabbles, and betrayals.
Statistics show that in families where spouses are the same age, infidelity occurs more often - especially if the marriage was concluded too early. There are several reasons - one of the partners is looking for support and consolation on the side, as well as banal curiosity due to insufficient sexual experience.
A man older than his life partner is a classic love relationship. But it’s one thing when the difference is not very noticeable (3-5 years), and quite another thing when the misalliance is striking.
Mature men looking for young wives are quite understandable. She is not burdened with children, which reduces " financial investments"into family life. She does not have a wealth of experience in sexual relationships - you can try yourself in the role of a “teacher”. And it’s more pleasant to hug a young body. But men do not always pursue “mercantile goals” - nevertheless, love often wins.
For 10-15 years
Society is tolerant of marriages where the husband is 10-15 years older than his wife - stereotypes no longer reign. And the relationship can be quite strong!
The man has already managed to build a career and does not depend on the opinions of his friends and relatives in relation to his personal life. He approaches creating a family responsibly - without unnecessary emotions, with an understanding of female psychology, without stupid mistakes. In a couple with such an age difference, there are few quarrels - the spouse has experience in relationships, he is tolerant of the shortcomings of the other half and is able to resolve conflicts that arise without unnecessary losses. The woman in the couple is also quite happy - the chosen one fully supports her, there is a material basis for self-development, and “mature” pleasure in bed.
For 20 years or more
Several centuries ago, the situation when girls were married to someone old enough to be her father was the norm. Now this only causes condemnation from society. Only when looking at such a couple does the thought immediately arise that this is a calculation. Well, how can a young lady live with an elderly man? What kind of love is there?
In fact, such a union can be “convenient” for both her and him - the woman admires an experienced partner who knows life, and the man enjoys the cheerful laughter and, as if fueled by her energy, tries on the role of a guardian.
But here it is important to understand that some 10-15 years of marriage - and a man with light gray hair at the temples will turn into an old man. And the spouse will still be in full bloom - there is a risk of betrayal. A girl should give up her dreams of 3-4 children in a family - the years take their toll, and with the lifestyle of many men, the chances of conceiving decrease. And it’s not just a matter of physiology - by the age of 40, a man probably already has children from previous marriages. Should he put a few more children on his elderly shoulders?
Scientists have concluded that marriages with such a large age difference can shorten the lives of both spouses. And all because of the stress that a man and a woman experience - after all, they live among people's gossip and gossip, public condemnation. And this negatively affects your health! On the other hand, a man living with a young wife suddenly begins to look younger - it’s as if he is “drinking away” her youth. But a woman, on the contrary, quickly fades - subconsciously she tries to match the age of her chosen one.
It has always been believed that having an older woman in a couple is abnormal. Even now, in times of free morals, this often causes condemnation from society. And in vain - statistics show that such marriages are quite strong.
If a woman is 5-7 years older than her chosen one, such a difference is almost imperceptible - especially when both partners are over 30 years old. The couple can be called ideal - the spouses walk hand in hand along the path of family life. The woman is somewhat wiser, she has experience - she gently guides her husband to great achievements. A strong union! In addition, in order to match her young husband, a woman “gets younger” - she takes care of herself, follows the rules healthy image life. Both are happy.
And what challenges does a couple have to overcome if the woman is much older than her chosen one?
For 10 years
Such marriages are rare. And this is easy to explain - most men at any age are looking for partners younger than themselves. There is nothing to be done, this is nature - the “male” proves to himself personally and to the whole world that he is “wow” and can conquer the youngest and sexiest. Aging ladies, of course, do not cause a stir among young guys.
Many couples, where the woman is 10-15 years older than the man, manage to build harmonious relationships. love relationship. Some men are quite happy with the role of a follower in a couple - they admire a more mature woman and listen to her advice. And the woman feels needed and loved.
But problems cannot be avoided. The spouse often becomes overly suspicious, jealous and suspicious - there are many young rivals around who can take away the chosen one. No wonder this is causing concern. And with age, it becomes more and more difficult to disguise wrinkles - you can’t get away from nature. Either a man puts up with a woman’s “shortcomings”, loving her immensely, or sooner or later he goes in search of a younger wife.
For 20 years or more
Every woman wants to feel attractive and desired. This is what motivates a lady when she finds a partner much younger than herself. Such a couple is a vivid example of a “mother-son” relationship. The woman takes care of the young man and often provides him financially.
A mature, interesting lady is quite capable of turning a young guy’s head. But such an alliance will obviously not last long - the man, having gained experience (mostly sexual), will soon leave for a woman of the same age. And if a young gentleman lingers in the arms of an aging madam, then, most likely, this is either an Oedipus complex or mercantile interest. Naturally, neither one nor the other will contribute to a happy, strong union.
The optimal age difference between lovers is a very subjective concept. And in each case you can find both advantages and disadvantages. Consider them as a warning about possible problems in the relationship, and not as a clear guide to choosing a partner. Let's not forget about the power of love, which all ages are submissive to!
What to do if in a relationship the woman is older than the man?
Previously, in Rus', young girls married elderly men, and this was considered a great success due to the financial viability of the groom. Even in ancient times, there was a stereotype of relationships in which the man is older. A considerable ransom was demanded for the bride (in some countries it still exists: for example, the payment of bride price to the bride's parents in Muslim countries). A man could save large sums of money only in the second half of his life, therefore, he became a groom at an advanced age.
Over the last century, gigantic changes have occurred in the development of mankind, and this affected not only technological progress. Women's struggle for their rights made significant adjustments to social relations. In developed Western countries, thanks to state support, mothers can freely raise children without entering into an official marriage.
It is no longer uncommon for young men to have intimate relationships with women much older than themselves.
What are they looking for in such a relationship?
Quality sex. Young women are not as experienced in the art of love, and are more preoccupied with themselves rather than with their partners. They are more interested in their career, shopping, chatting with friends. A man feels in the background in such a situation. And he wants more! Therefore, even being married to a young lady, he is looking for a more mature lady to fulfill his erotic fantasies. A young girl is often constrained in bed, while an older woman behaves freely. Sex with an experienced partner brings much more pleasure to a man, don’t you agree?
Recognition of your exclusivity. A young girl often refers to young man with disdain, and the older person looks at him as if he were a Prince! A man immediately catches this difference in behavior and reaches out to her like a drug. Agree: it’s nice to feel like an important, significant person, without having a lot of money, just a pretty face and a pumped-up figure.
Men with weak character(“followers”) often marry older women due to the fact that they know how to guide their lives and actions. All responsibility is automatically transferred to the lady’s shoulders, but she copes with it successfully. Especially it concerns Russian women, hardened by the difficulties of the 20th century.
But often the fairer sex themselves become the initiators of relationships in which the man is younger than the woman. Why?
Again, I want better sex compared to what a peer over 40-50 years old can (or no longer can) give. In our country, men are reluctant to visit doctors, do not take care of their health, develop sores, abuse alcohol - potency noticeably decreases after forty. And just during this period, a woman experiences a hormonal “explosion”, when she wants to get as many amazing erotic pleasures as possible! And only a young man, full of strength and energy, can give them!
The desire to feel like a young girl again very typical for women after 35 years. The desire to prolong youth and the fear of old age is one of the reasons for relationships in which the woman is older than the man. The midlife crisis is in full swing. Surely you know that after 40 years, both men leave their previous families, and women go all out with young guys.
How to save a relationship if the woman is older than the man
It all depends on how big the age difference is. If it is 5-10 years old and the lady is in excellent shape and takes care of herself, then if she has a strong character, she may well retain a man’s interest in her for many years. Example: relationships French writer George Sand (1804-1876) and the Polish composer Frederic Chopin (1810-1849). The age difference was six years. 
Aurora Dupin (the writer's real name) was not naturally beautiful - Chopin even wrote at first that she did not look like a woman at all! However, over time, he became so involved in this relationship that he could no longer imagine life without a more mature girlfriend. The breakdown of relations hastened the death of the composer. This was such a sad turn of events...
And the great Khadija, the wife of the Prophet Muhammad, was already 15 years older than her husband: when she got married, she was forty years old, and Muhammad was twenty-five. All her life, Khadija remained the prophet’s greatest love, and he took the rest of his wives after her death...
By the way, women’s external characteristics do not play a role in such relationships: they get used to both ugliness and beauty, so the ability to get along with a partner still comes first!
What to do to save , in which the woman is older than the man?
Be confident in yourself despite excess weight and other possible problems. Show with all your appearance that you are the most charming and
Do not throw hysterics and scandals (this is precisely a sign of insecurity).
Ask a man for advice, emphasizing his importance in a relationship.
Maintain your popularity on social networks.
Frequently communicate with friends and acquaintances.
Be an interesting person, develop your hobby.
Monitor your physical fitness: go to fitness, swimming pools, massage.
Do not focus your partner’s attention on your age and do not predict the development of events for the worse (“Soon I will get old and you will leave me” - forget this phrase!).
Exude joy, a lot
Melancholy is unattractive, so Young men are more willing to be attracted to older, positive women than to younger, but sad women. Draw your conclusions!
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Photo: Dmitriy Shironosov/Rusmediabank.ru
The history of unequal marriage has such deep roots that it is difficult to even imagine a time when it did not exist. By and large, any marriage is unequal, because a man and a woman are different sizes. Opposites. But when the age gap is added to this natural factor of differences, the inequality becomes simply glaring.We are already accustomed to unequal marriages in which the man is older than the woman. They even became a kind of rule and the key to a successful misalliance. However, the trends of recent decades are such that marriages in which a woman acts as the senior partner are becoming more and more common.
He helps her feel full of life. Prolongs youth. Stimulates constant search and development.
She can sculpt from a young man, as from a piece of virgin material, her ideal man.
She gets the opportunity to satisfy her eternal female instinct of motherhood, care and participation, which makes her happy.
A young man has what she needs and the capabilities that distinguish him favorably from his peers.
An unequal marriage in which the younger man has the same chance of being happy as any other marriage if it is based on love and human affection. Unfortunately, our society is structured in such a way that it perceives any deviations from the norm invented by someone almost as a sentence. But each of us has the right to live not as public opinion dictates, but as our heart tells us.
Couples where women are older than their chosen ones are not uncommon today. “Health” conducted an investigation into how durable such relationships are and how to maintain them.
There is progress
The opinion that such marriages did not exist before does not reflect the true state of affairs. History, including world history, has known more than one such couple. However, if we turn to statistics, the dynamics, especially in last years, on the face. If in 1963 in only 15% of married couples the woman was older than the man, by now this figure has increased. Sociologists say that now in every 6th couple the woman is older than her chosen one.
How long?
According to psychologists, marriages in which the wife is older than the husband have every chance of longevity and stability. If you want to live happily ever after, do not pay attention to those around you, because it is public opinion, according to psychologists, that is often the reason for the collapse of such unions. Also, relatives can play a fatal role in a relationship, both on the woman’s side (telling horror stories about her gigolo husband) and on the man’s side (complaining that the “old woman” has twisted/bewitched/clouded the brains of the “poor boy”). If you truly love each other, never forget that your relationship is your own business. Don’t let anyone interfere with them; there is no place for unnecessary people in love. And remember: the less you wash dirty linen in public, the happier and more carefree your life will be.
Your happiness can be destroyed not only by third parties, but also by yourself. A woman in such a relationship must once and for all forget about unreasonable fears, stupid complexes and inappropriate jealousy. Only a wise, self-confident wife who loves herself and her husband can save a marriage. Agree, all these rules also work in marriages where the man is older.
What does this give her?
According to psychologists, women whose husbands are younger than them have increased self-esteem, regardless of whether they themselves admit this fact or not. In addition, such women take more care of their appearance, have diverse interests and have an increased love of life, and their sex life is much more varied and richer than that of their friends who tied the knot with older men. However, the same psychologists advise not to relax and over the years only to intensify the work on yourself and your relationships, so that the beloved man does not grow cold and the marriage does not crack.
Personal experience
Nadezhda (29 years old) and Murat (22 years old)
A novel with a sequel
We met in Turkey, where I went on my next vacation. Literally on the second or third day of vacation, I met the handsome Murat on the beach. He was in charge of jet skis and other water activities. The relationship began at lightning speed. Hot sun, hot sand, hot southern man - what else do you need? And, to be honest, we didn’t think about continuing, we just enjoyed each other. I liked that he was younger. Some kind of crazy energy, gaiety, romance and his concern for me turned my head.
Two weeks flew by too quickly. He didn’t want to let me go, and I flew away with the thought that it was just a holiday romance and there would be no continuation. But after returning home, I couldn’t stop thinking about Murat. I was drawn to him like a magnet. After 10 days, I packed my things and returned to where we were so happy. From that moment we began to live together. Then he went to serve in the army, and I, returning to Russia, got a job as a teacher. But we didn’t stop communicating, we constantly called each other. From time to time he cried about how hard it was for him there, and I, as a mother, consoled and supported him: “Well, be patient, just a little more, there are so many days left...” Every time he was given a day off, I came up with a bunch of reasons to skip work and flew to him in Turkey. During another such meeting, he presented me with wedding ring. According to Turkish customs, the girl must also give a ring to her chosen one. I did it with pleasure. We got engaged, and after he served, we got married. The wedding took place in Moscow, and a few months later our daughter was born.
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I can’t say that all these 4.5 years were a complete fairy tale. And it’s not so much the difference in years, but the difference in mentality. Southern guys are quite childish at any age. Therefore, it happens that he gets offended like a little one by some nonsense, requires constant attention and care, cannot find his things on his own, loves that I look after him in the same way as I do with our daughter, devote the same amount of time. This does not annoy me, but rather touches me. With all this, he can show character, flare up, show who is boss in the house. I consciously create an atmosphere that he is supposedly in charge, although in fact I myself constantly control our relationship and all his actions, and the responsibility for the family and daughter lies more with me. In this sense, maybe because of my age, I am a little wiser, sometimes I will remain silent, and this is what helps smooth out corners and avoid unnecessary quarrels.
You know, when a man is younger, it’s incredibly motivating to look your best, and the very energy of a young guy is transmitted in such a way that you feel very young. In any case, I want to say that if people feel good together, then all difficulties can be overcome and a compromise can be found. And age is just a number. Love is the main thing! After all, many people break up not because someone is younger or older, but simply because they no longer understand and love each other.
Anastasia Prokosheva (35 years old) and Ilya Prokoshev (26 years old)
World Wide Web
We met, no matter how trivial it may sound, on a dating site. For me, this was not a way to find a partner; I registered there, rather, out of curiosity. Ilya, as it turned out later, did too. Having accidentally seen each other on the Internet, we decided to meet that same evening. Why not: we were both free at that time and nothing stopped us from spending time with the person we liked.
Frankly, I always liked younger guys, although my first husband was older than me. Going to this meeting, I was absolutely calm, no “special” preparations, worries, or worries. I didn’t expect anything supernatural from this meeting and I was right: there was no love at first sight. The evening passed very nicely, in a friendly atmosphere. Ilya was gallant, sweet and witty. I was sure that this would be the end of our relationship. Not because I didn’t like him, but because I didn’t believe in a relationship where the man was so much younger. It seemed to me that 9 years was already too much. Well, why does he need me? And I already have one child, it wasn’t enough to babysit a man like a child, I thought.
But I was wrong. The first meeting was followed by a second, and this was already a full-fledged date. We walked along the embankment, admired the fireworks, talked and laughed a lot. I really didn’t want this evening to end, I was so afraid that it would be the last... The kiss decided everything. After it, we were sure that we should date.
Remembering now the beginning of our relationship, I can say that we were “terribly” in love and happy. We wanted to spend every minute of our free time together, without being separated for a moment! I was in love like a girl. It's like I'm 18 years old again and this is my first love! Even at that time, we wanted to get married, but at some point, it seemed, the whole world had turned against us... My parents and Ilya’s friends did not share our optimism and did not believe in this relationship. They prevented them as best they could, so that endless happiness was replaced by difficult breakups and difficult reconciliations, again partings and again reconciliations. One thing I can say for sure is that even when we were not together, we continued to love each other. And this love turned out to be stronger. If you ask me why we decided to get married, I will answer that I have been waiting for him all my life! This is exactly the kind of man I wanted to see next to me. Ilya is gentle, caring, affectionate, honest, devoted, madly loves animals and children, whatever I ask him for, he is ready to do for me. Thanks to him, I learned to forgive and meet halfway, to appreciate every second spent together. Ilya also changed, he learned to understand people better, became more tolerant and more humane. In this relationship, I became a truly happy woman, even more confident in myself and my irresistibility. All my girlish dreams about a prince on a white horse came true.Now we are expecting a child, and I know for sure that my husband will be an amazing father! He loves our baby now as much as not all fathers are able to love children who have already been born. We are already in our sixth month in the tummy, the doctor said it’s a girl, daddy’s princess. What's next for us? Only love!
Elena Lyubimkina (33 year) and Mikhail Makarov (26 years)
« Beautiful woman - happy woman»!
Misha and I knew each other long before our romance began. We were connected not only by our joint work at the economic information agency, but also by common interests: a shooting range at the police station, a passion for walks and travel. I never considered him as a potential gentleman and once even tried to arrange his personal life by introducing him to my girlfriend... but, fortunately, their relationship did not work out.
It was my friend’s story that he was “too perfect” that made me look at Mikhail from a different perspective. After all, unlike her, I didn’t need Brazilian passions with an endless surge of emotions and adrenaline. I dreamed of a stable relationship with a strong and confident person.
It all started with an almost accidental kiss. There was a fireworks festival in Moscow at that time, which we decided to go to. It was very cold, and we stood hugging each other all evening, warming each other. Then Misha went to walk me home and we kissed goodbye. For the first time. And then there was our joint trip to New Jerusalem, after which we began to live together. And a year ago we had a son, Yegor.
Of course, at first, both my and Misha’s acquaintances wondered whether the age difference was confusing us. But having realized that we didn’t see this as a problem at all, we calmed down and didn’t pester them anymore. For Misha and me, his grandfather and grandmother are an example. They have a difference of 5 years towards grandma. And this is the most beautiful and happiest couple I know. They have been living together in perfect harmony for 50 years. Not all couples with a traditional age distribution can boast of the same.
Sometimes friends ask: “Aren’t you afraid that a younger girl will take Misha away from the family?” I have never seen and do not see younger girls as competitors. For what? A person who is close in spirit and loves will belong to you without any competition.
Despite his young age, Misha is much more mature and interesting person than many older men I knew. I didn't want to be around any of them every day. And I certainly didn’t want to give birth to anyone’s child. My husband is absolutely clear proof that intelligence and wisdom do not always depend on biological age.
I, in turn, am mature enough to see the world without illusions, and, as a result, I do not have the desire to control my loved one, which I had at the age of 20.
I carefully monitor my health and devote a lot of time to my appearance, but I do this primarily for myself. I try to get enough sleep (as much as possible with a small child), go for walks, and visit a beauty salon from time to time. I don’t use decorative cosmetics; I prefer essential oils and aloe vera. I am sure that if I love myself, then my husband will be crazy about me.
Many friends say that next to Misha I literally blossomed, blossomed like a flower. And all because the beauty of a woman does not depend on her age. A beautiful woman is a happy woman, and I am very happy !
Traditionally, the goal of relationships between representatives of different sexes is to create a family and have a child. A woman is biologically ready to become a mother at the age of eighteen. A man is subject to slightly different requirements - he needs to support his family, and he is only able to earn enough money and stand on his own two feet at the age of thirty. If a woman is 10 years younger than her husband, such a relationship is considered correct. In any case, no one blames them. Couples in which the woman is 10 years older than the man are viewed with distrust and sometimes even contempt. The psychology of relationships between partners is based on slightly different principles.
Why do mature women prefer relationships with younger guys?
Let's first try to figure out why an adult woman of 30, 40, 50 and even 60 years old needs a partner much younger than her? As a rule, mature ladies start relationships with young guys unintentionally. Especially for a young husband just to satisfy physiological needs no one is looking. If a woman cannot build relationships with peers or men who are older than her, she switches to a more accessible object.
It is much easier to “tame” an inexperienced youth who does not have any in his bank account. In addition, such a partner will not dare to doubt the moral qualities of an adult woman, she is like a mother to him. He will not reproach her, harass her with nagging or jealousy. A young husband is a toy for rich ladies. Woman living on minimum wage wages, is unlikely to place such a burden on his shoulders. A rich young man interested in a relationship with a poor old woman is a sign of a not entirely healthy psyche.
However, a young guy is a big plus for an aging lady. He will bring into her life the sharpness of youth, courage, joy, naivety, in a word - all those feelings that are so familiar to her, but have already been a little forgotten. With a young man you can start living again, once again experience the novelty of already familiar experiences.
As a rule, women who work as managers or are accustomed to the fact that everyone obeys them choose a young man as their partner. Of course, older ladies sacrifice a lot for such relationships. Their reputation suffers, they become the object of ridicule, they have to provide not only for themselves, but also for their young chosen one. True, no one will appreciate their sacrifices. In the eyes of the public, they are aging ladies whose raison d'être is to satisfy sexual desires. Although in fact, mature women do not really need stormy intimate relationships.
No self-respecting psychologist would approve of a relationship in which the man is 10 or 15 years younger than his wife. Indeed, due to the huge difference in age, the distance between the needs, interests, way of perceiving and assessing the outside world in such couples is enormous. Most likely, the psychotherapist will perceive such a relationship as a problem and try to reconcile the participants in the drama with their choice and the resulting consequences.
There is a hypothesis that a woman chooses a young man in order to fulfill herself as a mother and give her chosen one the care that her adult children no longer need. This version is very similar to the truth, if not for one thing. A young husband is also someone’s adult son, who no longer needs his mother’s warmth. Sons are always in a hurry to become adults, and too much care from their own parents irritates them. In this case, why does a young man need a wife trying to replace his mother? The answer to this question is obvious: a mature woman who enters into a relationship with a young guy simply wants to be a leader. Perhaps, from the outside, her dominant position looks like a manifestation of maternal care. In fact, a woman consciously chooses the “adult-child” behavior model in order to command a man.
An accomplished and mature woman who chooses a young guy as her partner refuses to have a relationship with a man of her own age or older than her. I wonder why she does this. After all, something doesn’t suit a woman in a more traditional relationship.
If a man is 10 years older, it is based on submission. A mature husband is someone who has already achieved material and psychologically personality. He has his own habits, an idea of the role of a woman in the family, society, and a developed model of behavior. In addition, there are many prejudices formed as a result of rich and often negative experiences in communicating with representatives of the fair sex.
Perhaps the relationship with a partner who is older than the woman is stable. After all, the man has vast experience in communicating with girls. However, we should not forget that today’s chosen one is ex-husband or someone's father. In his heart there will always be not only unknown memories, but also some feelings hidden from prying eyes, perhaps mental wounds. Not only he, but also his chosen one will have to live with all this baggage of experience, successful or depressing.
In addition, it will not be possible to somehow change the character of a mature man. He has his own ideas about life and how one can act, what one cannot do, and what one should refuse. A man who has been accustomed to living by his own rules for a long time will not change them just for the sake of a woman. He will live as usual. Spend money on what he wants. Do as he pleases. However, if a woman wants to maintain a relationship with him for a long time, she just needs to adapt to his rhythm, accept all his habits and disappear into his life.
True, not all self-confident women want to sacrifice themselves, their interests, freedom for the sake of a subordinate position and the oppressive authority of their older husband. Perhaps this is why rich middle-aged ladies prefer to have affairs with inexperienced young men who do not demand anything but money. It’s easier to some extent with them.
Why does a man choose a woman much older than himself?
Now let's try to figure out why a young guy needs an older lady. It is generally accepted that men start relationships with older women for selfish reasons and because they are not popular with their peers. A young man who is interested in a lady who is established in some professional field can hardly be uninteresting to young girls. Perhaps he was simply not satisfied with sex with women his own age. However, modern youth have not suffered from strict moral principles or hypocrisy, so to say that a young guy lacks something in sex with peers is somehow stupid. In all likelihood, the young man perceives an intimate relationship with a woman who is 10 years older than him as some kind of extreme. He just wants to get new experiences and try himself in a new role.
Between a man and a woman 10 years older than him is not always the case conscious choice. A young guy is simply comfortable being in the conditions that an adult lady with life experience has created for him. He likes to communicate with an older woman and feel that she not only listens to him, but also understands him. Experience of communicating with members of the opposite sex comes with age. Mature women know what their partner wants, what his soul is about, when he wants fun, and when, on the contrary, he needs silence and solitude. Adult women are less demanding of their young man. They give more and expect nothing in return. And the level of conflicts in such unions is zero. Middle-aged but experienced partners forgive their foolish lovers a lot.
As he ages, the young guy's feelings for his aging wife will change. For physiological reasons, he will no longer care about her middle-aged body, so much so that it will subsequently affect his erection. Getting rid of potency problems is possible in a relationship with a young girl. True, we still have to live to see this time, but for now you can safely enjoy the advantages and benefits that a relationship with a woman who is 10 years older than a man provides. You can build a career, achieve success in business, higher social status. You can even have a child - your middle-aged wife will take care of him. After all, she needs to realize herself as a mother.
What awaits partners in a marriage of different ages?
The age difference affects their relationship. In an unequal marriage, the young husband will always be in a subordinate position. His wife will become his teacher and educator. At first, such a relationship will suit everyone. A woman will receive an obedient husband who unquestioningly carries out her orders and rarely shows initiative due to his inexperience. The guy just doesn't need to rack his brains over many decisions life problems. True, with age, when a man matures as an individual and professional, conflicts will arise between spouses. The husband will try to regain authority and become the head of the family. If he fails, the family may fall apart.
In material terms, the woman will be considered the main breadwinner, because she is older than her husband. At first the young man will like this, but over time he will want to manage his wife’s money on his own, and she most likely will not allow him to do this. If a man does not learn to earn money himself, he will not be able to realize himself as an individual and become independent.
In a union of different ages, partners often have polar interests. After all, they are not representatives of the same generation. To the young husband I like to spend evenings in nightclubs, dance, play sports, travel, discover all aspects of life and enjoy them. Especially if there are funds for such entertainment.
The fading wife will need to somehow match the new lifestyle and the young partner. She will have to devote more time to her appearance, so that when appearing with her chosen one in public, she will not shock everyone with her appearance. appearance. You can, of course, spend evenings by the fireplace alone, but then the likelihood of losing your husband is very high.
If a woman or man, after experiencing an unsuccessful relationship, has received psychological trauma that haunts them and because of which they are unable to build a new relationship, the help of a specialist is recommended, for example, a psychologist-hypnologist
